Can I just be myself?

I won't forfeit my soul for a pretty penny;
Are you listening?
Do I make myself clear?

Today...
I woke up late.
Took my medication, late.
Talked to Tori, wrote with Laura and Alanah.
What I normally do.
And I cried, and my chest it itchy and so are my arms and legs.
What the heck, really.

Therapy tonight, it was good.
There was this ODE magazine, and the opening 'ode' Steve laughed and said I could write better than that. Then we were talking about school, and what career I want to pursue. Then I was saying how someone could actually think that each night they're dying (long story, this is where the session ended up though) and then each morning they're being reborn; and things they experienced before could be like deja vu. It was strange then I mentioned Stefanie, and I started to cry and I told him what was going on. Then he said it was the end of the session (seriously we were five minutes over time) and he was like, any last words?
"I'll die tonight and be born again tomorrow."

Princess rest, we'll talk in our sleep

I thought I had everything under control
I couldn't have been more wrong.

My pills are making me extremely tired.
I'm always exhausted all the time.
Thank you prozac and whatever the fuck else I take.

Last night. Oh boy, last night.
Okay so since I doubt this kid will look at this, I'll pour it out now.
Okay I lied, I'll partially tell the story.
Or tell a story partially.
Whatever, this kid what fighting with me over bisexuality.
He said it was a sin and shit and oh my god I wanted to punch his lights out.
Too bad he lives in Michigan and is like, a half a foot taller than me.
So now he's pissed off at me, and Livee, and he deleted us off of facebook for standing up for what we believe in, and not letting him get to us.
He probably thinks I'm going through a 'phase' anyway e_e

Anyway, what else is new?
I twisted my ankle thanks to dancing to 3OH!3.
I'm going to A Cursive Memory, A Rocket to the Moon, Mercy Mercedes and Stereo Skyline show tomorrow. How the hell's that going to happen?
I missed Livee's party, since I don't live in Michigan.
I'm barely eating anything anymore.
I have no appetite, I sleep 68% of the time, and the only meal I eat is dinner.
I'm supposed to go ice skating tonight, but I don't think that's going to happen.
Some skater, I'm thinking either Joel or Jimmy, is outside skating on the road and it is aggravating me. I don't even know why.
I'm starving, yet still not eating anything.
If I do eat anything, it's Oreos with milk or dinner.
I need to lose the weight, I don't care. I don't think I have an eating disorder.
I just don't want to eat.
And my hair is falling out. I think it's time to get vitamins.

Maybe I can get some long sleeved undershirts and socks at Walmart tonight when someone picks up my sister from her job.

My head's too itchy to wear a hat, I still will wear one though, and I have no desire to shower right now.

Nothing's amusing or entertaining me right now, and the Suite Life of Zack and Cody's on right now. Then Tyra's gonna be on in less than an hour. Maybe I'll have something to eat by then.

And since Alanah is at her friend's house, and Amy and I barely talk, and it's not Laura's day today, I can't write with anyone. I'm not happy about that, I need to write to feel good. It's the only way.

That and watching things with Tori.

Well, whatever. Time to talk to Tori/write by myself/scratch my head/watch tv/sleep/be in pain.

You've got that seed in you

Baby, I'm afraid.
Oh God, I'm afraid.
What will people say?
What will they say?
Well some days I couldn't care less
And others I'm scared half to death
Don't wanna work so hard just to have a heart attack.

You know, medicine is a wonderful thing. I like it.
But it makes me tired. Oh well, that doesn't matter now does it?
At least I'm getting treated, and at least I'm happy.
Happy that I'm getting treated.
Happy that my problems are away, but that's with a pill.
I'm still fucked up.
I'm happy that the pills are working.

Happy about other things....

I'll get back to you on that one.